For years, when Christi Brown looked in the mirror she didn’t like what she saw. Today she shares how her life was changed when she found freedom from insecurity.
Until two weeks ago, I didn’t know what life without insecurity was like. Self-worth, uncertainty, fear of what others thought of me, they were all things I wrestled with on a daily basis. On the outside I tried to hide it, but on the inside I was consumed by it. It was my identity.
Until two weeks ago.
I went to Milestone’s Freedom Weekend and the Holy Spirit began to stir something inside of me.
He began to shine a light on my insecurity and the root of that insecurity. There were things that I had never allowed myself to even think of because I wasn’t willing to deal with them head on. I didn’t want to deal with them because if I shared them, then I was letting others know what happened to me.
It was that day that I realized that if I wanted freedom, I had to be 100% real. I had to let others know my story, my pain, and my insecurity. I had to let people in, past the facade that I worked way so hard to maintain. I cried ALL day!
The Holy Spirit whispered to areas of hurt, rejection, and pain that I did not realize I had stuffed down. He was so sweet to me in those moments and I am thankful that He showed them to me the way He did. My kids noticed a difference. My daughter asked why I looked so different. In the days and weeks following I noticed a change in my thought patterns.
I no longer gazed in the mirror at my body and evaluated what I did and didn’t like. I no longer engaged in self-deprecating conversations. I no longer felt like I was less-than.
My soul was free.
I literally felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders. God showed up big for me.
I heard about Pastor Jeff’s new book, Who Am I? and immediately I started thinking about who I could share it with. It speaks to the same issues like identity and insecurity that I wrestled with for years and I know God’s going to use it to help people understand who they are in Christ. Can’t wait!
Christi, thank you for sharing your inspiring story with us. We are so glad you are a part of our spiritual family here at Milestone!